Practicing the Pause

Hi everyone, Happy Spring, or here in New England, Happy Mud season:)

Practicing the Pause. What does this mean, really? The answer I believe is very individual. I try to follow this instruction and as far as I can tell, I’ve had near 100% more positive results than if I don’t. 

The most common pause I utilize in my life is to take a breath, that’s it, I take a breath. Before I respond to something that I heard that didn’t land so well, I take a breath. It gives my brain time to catch up to my mouth. And my response is usually calmer and better received. It is absolutely less reactive. 

When I do not practice the pause, I have a much lower percentage of positive results. I often blurt out the first thing that pops in my head. Those words come quickly and easily because I’ve had many many years to build up my defensive “lines”. All the past arguments and pain don’t need any time to form, they just show up right there in the front and get said, often before I have time to think how my words will be received and even what message I want to communicate. (In theory this is a lot easier than in real life!)

The other pause I like to incorporate is the pause I am fortunate enough to have time for. When I am walking my dog, I again breathe deeply and just remind myself to be in my body. It is so easy to have the days events just propel me forward and before I know it, evening is upon me and I haven’t even had the time to settle into myself. If it is a day of one thing after another and there is no walk, sometimes in my car at a stoplight, I shut off the music and pause and breathe. 

It is amazing to me how these few brief moments can change my perspective on the day or even just the moment. So wherever and whenever you can take a pause try it. I mean it can’t hurt, right?

Wishing you all well,

Jan